Kids Awareness Series

Be consistent in disciplining your child.  If you reward or punish your child use the same reward or punishment every time!!  Parents become so frustrated with their child’s behavior that they punish a behavior and because their child becomes angry or throws a temper tantrum they “cave in” and let them have their way.  What I often hear is that a parent gets tired of saying the same thing over and over and “gives up” and lets the child have their way.  (For example, your child refuses to do their homework and you tell them if they finish their homework they can watch their favorite television program when they are done.  Halfway through completing their homework, your child throws a temper tantrum and tells you they are not going to do it.  You as the parent let them watch television because you are tired of fighting with them and you try to get them to finish their homework later.  However, what you have done here is reward noncompliance with your rules and you have just undermined yourself.  You as the parent are going to have to go through this all over again when you try to get them to finish their homework later).

When you are trying to teach a new behavior, it is the most effective if you reward the behavior every single time it occurs.  The reward should occur IMMEDIATELY after it happens and if you are implementing a behavior change program it should be utilized for at least two weeks before you call it quits and decide what you are doing is not working.  Lastly, repeating yourself and repeating yourself and repeating yourself will not work with the ADHD child for sure.  Talking and telling them about their negative behavior certainly is NOT going to change it.  We need action here!!  Consequences have to be used to change a negative behavior in your child.  If you tell them that you are going to do something for a bad behavior make sure you do it and do it every single time.  Don’t try to reason with your child, you are the parent and rules need to be followed.  At the end of the day, your child is your greatest gift and you as a parent want to produce the best possible child so they have all the tools to become a successful adult.

Above all else, never blame yourself and think that you are a BAD parent.  I here this all the time as a therapist!!  You are doing your best and there is no such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect person.  Never give up!!