Kids Awareness Series

To Spank or Not to Spank.  That is the question?  I am writing about this particular subject today as a result of an argument that took place in my office this past week between two parents.  They brought in their child to see me due to discipline problems they are experiencing with him at home.  The parents proceeded to argue in front of me about how to discipline their son and how to get his behavior problems under control.  You see, this child had completely taken over the house and the parents were no longer in control of their own home.  The child was running the show!  The father told me that he believes that corporal punishment or spanking him is a most effective way to discipline and the mother prefers to send him to time out or to reward him when his behavior is appropriate.  I proceeded to watch this couple argue for about 15 minutes in order to observe how they interact with each other and finally asked them, “is this how the two of you talk to each other at home?”  They proceeded to tell me that they try to argue about these types of things in their bedroom away from their son.  The problem with that folks, is that children tell me all the time that they either know that their parents are arguing or that they can actually hear their parents yelling in the bedroom.

So back to my question, to spank or not to spank.  The problem that I just outlined for you above is an all too common one that myself and other therapists hear.  If parents are not even in agreement, how do they expect their child to react to conflicting and/or inconsistent discipline in the home.  Spanking, in my opinion is not an effective tool to change a child’s behaviors/actions in the long run.  The problem with spanking is that it will stop a behavior or an action immediately following the punishment, however children usually do not even really know what they are in trouble for and it will most likely not change the behavior for the long-term.  Yes, I know that alot of parents will not agree with that statement, however controlling someone’s behavior through negative means is never a good thing.  In addition, spanking is a punitive measure and is a negative means to control behavior, not a positive one.  If you really want to change a child’s behavior, a more effective means of doing so would be to reward positive behaviors consistently and set up a behavior management plan for your child in order to change unwanted behavior.  If parents are not successful in doing so by themselves, they should consult a mental health professional for assistance.

One Response to “To Spank or Not to Spank?”