Kids Awareness Series

Separation Anxiety, which is a common disorder seen in children, is usually seen in younger children, however can affect older children.  What exactly is separation anxiety? Simply stated, separation anxiety is the fear someone has of being left alone.  Parents often see their child become panic-stricken or tearful when they drop them off at school or when they try to leave their child alone with another family member or a babysitter.  Separation anxiety usually begins in childhood and is a mental health disorder.  A child’s temperament plays a large role in whether or not a child is able to move past the normal anxiety that comes with separating from parents.    

What can parents do to help their child through this difficult transitional stage of being alone and separated from them.  First of all, separation anxiety in children is usually seen by parents when their child refuses to go to bed at night by themselves or when they refuse to attend school.  Children will often complain of a headache or a stomach ache in order to get out of attending school. 

The preferred method for treating a child’s separation anxiety is individual counseling and not pharmacological treatment.  The most common treatment method used to treat separation anxiety is behavioral modification.  Behavioral modification is a therapeutic intervention that addresses the specific behaviors associated with separation anxiety.  In this model, parents reward instead of punish a child’s attempts to be alone and the child’s fears are not punished.  For example, when a parent drops their child off at school and their child begins to whine and cry, the positive behavior of the child getting out of the car and going into school after a minute or two to calm down is rewarded.  On the other hand,  the whining and crying the child exhibited as a result of being separated from a parent is not punished.  To help a child that is suffering with separation anxiety a parent should focus on any positive attempts to be separated from them and this behavior should be praised. 

An excellent resource for parents, is the children’s book, Oscar the Pig-Mommy Goes to Work written by Megan Calhoun.  Ms. Calhoun is the founder of TwitterMoms.com and has written an excellent resource book for parents to read with their young child.  Her book helps children understand that separation is a normal and healthy part of growing up.

Treatment of separation anxiety should include the assistance of a mental health professional in more severe cases and counseling focuses on the child and the family.  If psychological treatment is not effective then medication can be considered.  Remember, parents must praise a child’s attempts at separation no matter how small the attempt is.  Even if your child sits alone in the next room and not right next to you, this behavior should be praised.  Allow your child to feel success at every single step of their separation from you and their ability to separate will slowly be achieved.

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