Kids Awareness Series

As parents many of us have significant difficulty in letting our children suffer the consequences of their actions. We feel obligated to bail them out of their troubles that they have actually created for themselves. Here is a good example of this:

Your child has a class project that is due and they tell you the night before that it is due tomorrow. You as the parent do not want your child to get a bad grade so you stay up half the night helping them work on the project. You of course ask your child, “how long have you known about this project?” Your child answers, “a few weeks now.” Of course all projects need supplies so you run to the store in the middle of the night to get paper, glue, and everything else that is needed for your child’s project as well.

In essence, what has happened here is that the parent has enabled the child to not be responsible for their actions and they bailed them out. A better scenario would have been for the parent to emphathize with their son/daughter that the project was due but make them stay up to do it. Yes, this may sound harsh, but think of it as more as “tough love.” The lesson that needs to be taught is for the child to look to the future and to know that their decision to do or not to do something is entirely up to them, however their choices result in consequences.

If a parent bails their child out of situations of which their are negative consequences, then the parent has taught their child to be irresponsible and a negative pattern of behavior for future actions/behaviors has developed. Of course, every child forgets things now and then, and you as a parent can help them, but if you notice that this occurs all the time, then it is time to let your child suffer the painful consequences of their actions. If you find it difficult to allow your child to suffer consequences, then be sure to find someone that can help you through your own resistance of enforcing rules/boundaries.